How to keep them happy: 3 tips for more smiles

Step 1: Stay positive, Get Happy Yourself

The first step to happier kids is, ironically, a little bit selfish. Do the things that make you happy more often, and try to let go of negative emotions like anger, guilt, resentment, grief and shame. Negativity saps vitality and creates stress, which affects your health and wellbeing.

Extensive research has established a substantial link between mothers who feel depressed and “negative outcomes” in their children, such as acting out and other behavior problems. Parental depression actually seems to cause behavioral problems in kids; it also makes our parenting less effective.

If you need guidance in recharging your happy engine, find a qualified therapist or certified coach who can help you redirect negative emotions.

Step 2: Teach Them To Build Relationships, Stay connected

Nobody denies learning about relationships is important — but how many parents actually spend the time to teach kids how to relate to others? (Just saying “Hey, knock it off” when kids don’t get along really doesn’t go far in building essential people skills.) It doesn’t take a lot. It can start with encouraging kids to perform small acts of kindness to build empathy.

This not only builds essential skills and makes your kids better people, research shows over the long haul it makes them happier. People who are more socially connected live longer. Laugh and live with your youngins!

Step 3: Expect Effort, Not Perfection

Note to perfectionist helicopter parents and Tiger Moms: cool it. Relentlessly banging the achievement drum messes kids up. Parents who overemphasize achievement are more likely to have kids with high levels of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to other kids.

The research is very consistent: Praise effort, not natural ability. The majority of the kids praised for their intelligence wanted the easier puzzle; they weren’t going to risk making a mistake and losing their status as “smart.” On the other hand, more than 90 percent of growth mind-set-encouraged kids chose a harder puzzle.

Why? Dweck explains: “When we praise children for the effort and hard work that leads to achievement, they want to keep engaging in that process. They are not diverted from the task of learning by a concern with how smart they might — or might not — look.”

Where we did our research: https://time.com/35496/how-to-raise-happy-kids-10-steps-backed-by-science/

#tips #happykids